WTF?

Excuse me, but what happened? This was supposed to be my event of the year, the climactic apex, the stars and moon in the sky?

I mean, let's face it, thanks to my neurotic Christmas-impaired sister, Yule time is always a bit of a gamble in this family. The food is always indisputably good, the turkey incredible, and I could ramble on. The company less so.

Imagine my excitement, and the hard time I was having containing it, when Her Domestic Goddishness announced that she was pondering a magnum opus on that much cherished winter family fest.

Presently, the ink on the paper dried, and the tome is now ready to be dispatched through Amazon et al from 2 October onwards.

But, hold on, who was involved in the creation of the cover photo? What is this diminished goddess that I behold? Holding potatoes no less, not a turkey in sight, and invested in a colour clash of magnanimous proportions reminiscent of some of the tchotchkes that my Scandinavian relatives send me every year. Nary a cleavage in sight (pouts). Where is the sparkle, the sex, the Christmas tree effect? Where is Nigella, the snow bunny, in Salzburg? (sobs)

I guess I will have to wait for the book itself to feast mine eyes (and lest we should forget what it's all about, my palate). Oh, and this year, I will be having a Christmas potluck on 27 December, for all those people I know who loathe the family aspect of it, but who enjoy good food and good company. You have been warned!