Ce plat pays qui est le mien.. .

I suppose I should have posted something weeks ago about the fact that Belgium is falling apart at the seams again. In fact, the government has yet again fallen in our little banana republic (visions of the Italian government, which seemed to get knocked down and then get up again, because you're never gonna keep me down... )



Yes, the lyrics of this song are quite appropriate when you look at the situation. So what's the status? PM resigned. King told him, no way, josé and hasta la vista, Yves. Then HM appointed three old crocodiles/former statesmen as 'negotiators'. And conveniently, he forgot to appoint a Flemish negotiator, thereby sending the message to a few million people that their opinion is completely irrelevant in this matter. But that's OK, we'll just continue to pay our taxes, so the other half can live comfortably off benefit.

Where will it all end, you ask? Well, since my name is not Madame Esmeralda, I have no clue. If you told me that in a year from now, Belgium will have been disbanded, and consist of two individual, or even three mini republics, I might be inclined to believe you. But then, it was an artificial construction to begin with. Let's toss a bit of France, a bit of The Netherlands and some post-war Germany into a big ole salad dresser, shaken not stirred, and see what comes out of this whole roly-poley? Oh, and while we're at it, let's get some prince without a cause or a throne and invest him as the king of this comedy. Ah, men in charge.

So taking bets now: will we have a government by the time I come back from holiday (20/08) or will we be declaring the Flemish Republic this time next year?

I shudder at the mere thought of inflicting that upon the world.

...tolero...

The Belgian federal government recently launched a campaign and blog aimed at young people between the ages of 15 and 18 to raise awareness about their attitude to gay people. Research has shown that 43.5 of Flemish male teens have a negative and intolerant attitude to the LGBT community, compared with 23.5 of Flemish female teens.

Actie Gezin, a christian association, with supporters among the Christian-Democrat fractions, which are once again part of the government coalition, reacted rather forcefully with a letter-writing campaign. Said association campaigns in favour of traditional family values and is worried that the campaign slogan is not aimed at bringing about equal opportunities for gays.

Personally I didn't quite get at what point the statements that '1 in 33 gay men has the HIV virus' and that 'serial monogamous heterosexual relationships promote HIV' were related in a cause-consequence kind of way, but according to the little people at Action Famille, this campaign is promoting free sex and sexual debauchery (their words, not mine).

I can understand how people would object to the use of the word 'fuck', but let's be realistic here: every teen uses this word freely throughout the day.

While perusing this association's site, I came upon a document which outlined their opposition to gay adoption of any kind, and by extension gay people raising children...
Some of the cherser statements:

- the natural and traditional family is the best place for a child to develop harmoniously
- children in lesbian families are forced to be raised without a father
- children of lesbian parents have more psychological issues according to studies
- homosexual relationships per definition are unstabler
- love alone is not sufficient; the joint love of a mother and father offer the best chances of development and happiness to a child.
- adoption should be reserved to heterosexual couples only
etc.

Well, pardon me, while I go barf in a corner. As a lesbian, I am naturally predisposed to arguing that the two-women family model works perfectly well. But more importantly, and based on the reactions of people in general, I am inclined to say the same. How many times have we been told, 'look at your munchkin, what are you worrying about, does she look unhappy? You are such good parents. Stop worrying'.

Earlier this week, I ended up chatting with another mum of a classmate. Recently divorced from her husband, who was an alcoholic, she was worried about the impact on her child's behaviour and development. The little boy in question is now under observation by the school psychologist, and there are obviously some issues. A little confused boy, as I witnessed first-hand that afternoon.

I don't know what the answer is. But the prejudiced views of this association, which refuse to even take into account the fact that LGBT couples are capable of raising happy, well-balanced children, let alone raise children, in this day and age, seems so 'bigoted', for lack of a better word. The reactions on newspaper discussion forums, however, prove that they are not alone and that there is still a lot of ground to be covered. In the meantime, the young Christian-Democrats have reacted, saying that any association which promotes a lack of tolerance, based on race, sexuality, etc. tarnishes the reputation of the party. Ah, Belgium, it never ceases to surprise me...

Belgium's candidate for the Eurovision Song CampFest

Catchy tune, eh? What do you think, zero or douze points?

Some days...

Taken from today's issue of Belgian daily De Standaard:

* Bruges waiter bites off piece of café-goer's ear
There was quite a commotion in Bruges in the night of Friday into Saturday as fights erupted in and around the pubs of 't Zand square. Café Ravage was forced to close down after a major brawl. During one of the fights, a waiter bit off the ear of a teen customer, who had threatened him with a burning candle. The fight took place in Café De Bras (translation: the binge). The waiter was booked for questioning and then released. The minor's ear was sewn back on in hospital.

* 26 year-old Dutch train conductor cornered by four women on the international train from Amsterdam to Brussels
The four women aged 20-23 years were arrested by police. They accosted the man during a ticket check and threatened him. After the check they went after him and hit him in the face several times. They also pulled at his clothes, as a result his uniform was ripped. One of the women is an acquaintance of the conductor. Their relationship remains unclear. Police was notified and arrested the women in Dordrecht, where they were taken off the train.

* From today's Sun by way of De Standaard
Jet pilot enjoys hostie's air strip
CAPTION: Hello, this is your captain tweaking
A grinning airline pilot gropes a saucy stewardess' boob, as she performs a strip-tease in the cockpit in mid-air.The amorous airman was filmed whooping for joy as the trolley dolly unbuttoned her uniform on their UK-bound flight.Then he took his hands off his joystick to help unhook her top before carrying out a full inspection in the cockpit. The pilot and his First Officer invited the attendant up front to liven a European short-haul flight to London.
The girl, in her 20s and wearing a wedding ring, happily obliged. And, at one point, she even lifted her skirt to show her undercarriage.
Their antics were filmed by another member of the French crew and posted on the net.
Last night a probe was underway at several European airlines to find those involved.

I'll be honest with you: when I read the word French crew, I let out a sigh of relief, as my cousin is a pilot... and his reputation is that of being somewhat of a ladies' man... although I think he is too serious when it comes to flying. But then again, you never know.

Remember the days when news was a serious matter?

'tis the season to be jolly - but not in Belgium, we're code red!

Look at all the shiny, happy people in this photo*. Incredibly enough, our Kingy has sworn in a new government this morning. Wonders will never cease. You would think that this would be cause for joy, but nothing less is true.

Incredibly enough, Belgium is 'on edge' after a thwarted Al-Qaeda jail break... which could have led to a possible terrorist attack... Are you also laughing at all the potentials in that last phrase? Cos I am.

Fourteen suspected Islamic militants were arrested this morning. Apparently they had been planning an armed attack to free the convicted Al Qaeda member, Nizar Trabelsi, a former Tunisian footballer, who is suspected of plotting attacks on US targets in Belgium (specifically an airbase in Belgium thought to house US arms). Now all of this has never been confirmed, mind.

Anyway, our threat level for the Yule period has been raised to critical on the premise that if these people managed to acquire the necessary heavy-duty arms to free a suspected terrorist, they could also plan a terrorist attack. Police is now swarming the streets, Christmas markets, airports, stations etc. and the public is asked to be vigilant (not vigilante, we're too busy living up to our reputation of being bons vivants in this country and spending money on Christmas gifts). SO is already grumbling, as she's in charge of the turkey but she's also on call on Christmas day, meaning that if something happens she will have to be outta here at cruising speed, leaving me with an uncooked three-course turkey dinner and hungry relatives on my hands.... Ack.

On a brighter note, I broke my Christmas shopping record this year. As always, I wait until the last three or four days to do ALL my shopping. I managed to find 75% of all my gifts in one hour flat. I could have managed 80% were it not for the barista who was preparing my frapp' yacking on her mobile.

So as we ready ourselves for the onslaught of Christmas, we look forward to two weeks of relative peace and quiet, as you can see. The munchkin is tired from a whole term at school and it's beginning to show. Lots of long sleeps, low immunity (ear infections are back, so a visit to the ear surgeon is in the works) and a slew of new words (such as stommerik or schtoopid). Lovely. SO is counting down the days to her surgery, which will result in improved health conditions for her. Even catso has a cold, prompting a visit from the vet and homeopathic remedies. I'm the last (wo)man standing!

* Photo courtesy of Thierry Roge - Reuters/Yahoo News. Belgium's King Albert II poses for a family photo with the members of the new government at the Laeken Palace in Brussels December 21, 2007.

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue

SCORE!!!

OMG, at last. After 192 days we have a government.
Well, sorta... à la belge, it is as usual a compromise.

Belgium's new intermediary government will be sworn in on Friday. Not the final government of course, because they have until March to negotiate that one.

Interestingly enough, this government is made up of winners and losers of the past election, and it is asymmetric (meaning the number of parties is not equal on either side of the language divide, as the Flemish socialists declared that they preferred to be in the opposition).

The new prime minister is the old prime minister, Guy Verhofstadt.

And the French liberals must be feeling extremely blue that the French-speaking socialists somehow managed to wheedle themselves into this government, in spite of considerable wrangling on everyone's behalf to keep them out of the coalition.

So where does the borrowed part come in? I think we could say that those are the French-speaking incontournable socialists, who were used as some kind of super glue to make this coalition work.

Enuff' said: time for some decision-making. And there are a lot of hasty decisions to make: before the end of the year an agreement has to be reached with GPs so that next year they cannot charge up exorbitant amounts for normal care... before Friday, Belgium has to request an exemption from a European Directive regarding the non-discrimination in insurance, or women's insurance rates of every type will soar through the roof... and the list goes on...
Nose to the grindstone dearies!

L'orange bleue est morte, vive l'orange bleue?

Tomorrow will mark the 185th day since the elections without a government.

The coalition broker resigned on 1 December. The former PM, Guy Verhofstadt, has now been assigned the job of running the country (which he's been doing for the last six months anyway) and trying to put together a workable coalition. And frankly, that's all I can tell you because at this point I have no idea what's going on... I'm mystified, everyone is mystified.

Are we to have a government? Is there a coalition in the pipeline? Are they just revamping the previous coalition into something workable? Oh, wait, I get it, this is your typical Belgian compromise in the making...

I watch, eyes wide shut, and wait. This country's regions are on a major collision course, with every statement being used as an excuse to have a major flare-up.

Vaudeville at its best. Belgium as we've always known it. Business as usual.

Ceci n'est pas une orange bleue - Let's stick together

No, not a reference to the movie about Tintin and the blue oranges. Nor have I been dipping too deep in Magritte's surrealist oeuvre. Although surrealism is the only label that applies to the situation in Belgium. Incredibly so, yet another tentative to broker a government coalition has failed. So the past 24 hours have been all about colours, about greens, and reds, and purples, and oranges, oranges that might be excluded, blues that will not govern with reds, greens who don't mesh well with yellows... A veritable rainbow fest!

All I know is that if there is a protest march, I'm heavily considering marching along. The revolution which created Belgium started with an opera (La Muette de Portici), and it looks as if Belgium will cease to exist as a result of a farce.

Meanwhile blogger Gerrit Six strikes again: after Belgium, he has now put Belgian citizenship on eBay.

While I was writing this, I was reminded of this rather appropriate song:


So maybe this is something we all need to think about, 175 days after our elections. Cross the linguistic border a little more, enjoy one another's culture a little more. Heck, if the Germans and the British could do it over Christmas during WWI in a football friendly in no-man's land, then why can't we?

Pondering a petition about the original English muffin

Now, usually I don't get on my soapbox about anything. In fact, I can be downright lazy when I want to. But here, for the first time, I find myself startled into action for something... well, rather embarrassingly silly.

Soooo, what has raised my hackles? A few days ago I stumbled on a tidbit of information on the www; namely that a goddess was descending upon us... sorta. It so happens that Nigella Lawson was venturing from her safe UK haven to the continent, to Amsterdam to be more precise. So you will understand that a measure of excitement overtook me as I pondered the possibility of being in the same breathing space as this icon. Needless to say, my hopes were soon dashed as I realized that all the tickets had unfortunately been snapped up by a bunch of Dutch and American people, who had some kind of ESP information about this event.

After a brief mail exchange with a very kind PR person, and a number of calls to some not so kind people, I realized that it was not to be. A true Cinderella does not get to go the ball moment.

But Cinderella persevered and so will I. Thus, I have no choice now but to ponder a petition with the title: Bring Nigella to Belgium. What say you? Would there be any interest? After all, it's not because we are a small blot on the European landscape, that we should be overlooked. So come visit, all you celebrities, we'd so like to have you.

AND HERE'S THE LINK TO THE PETITION. SPREAD THE WORD!

171 days of gloom and doom - whatever happened to Belgium, the surprise package of Europe?

One hundred and seventy-one days and one minute have passed since our national elections and yes, incredible as it may seem, our politicians still seem to think that they have all the time in the world to bicker about a new coalition.

The simple question of why a temporary government hasn't been put in place is so evident that one does not even dare ask it at this point.

No revolution has broken out. The people aren't screaming in the streets. No cars are being burnt (for that you have to head to the Paris banlieues these days, I am told, if it's fireworks and adrenalin that you are looking for).

In fact Belgians are going about their business as usual. Eating and drinking like true rabelaisians, preparing to spend money, etc. Incidentally, did you know that Belgium numbers 135,000 very fortunate dollar millionaires among its population? This puts it in twelfth place worldwide. Not bad for a country, whose impact in the EU was cited by MEP Daniel Cohn-Bendit as being "zéro" today. Now I know that Belgium is particularly good at scoring "nul points" in the Eurovision song extravaganza, but Mr CB's comment is stretching it a tad, don't you think?

So is Belgium irrelevant? Would you miss it? Did you even know it existed?

oh she was gorgeous - the girl in Leon Spilliaert's painting

Today's gorgeous girl is a bit out of the ordinary, as what makes her so gorgeous, is the fact that you can't see her face.

She is the girl running down the staircase in Léon Spilliaert's painting, Vertigo.



You can just make out her pale face behind her flowing veil.

Léon Spilliaert is a Belgian painter (early twentieth century). He has his own particular style, which he honed over time and is especially known for his works depicting Ostend, where he lived and worked (like James Ensor). Another one of his works, which is pretty amazing is La Baigneuse. The Belgian coast seems to have inspired a host of painters; another one of my favourites, who lived further along the coast is Paul Delvaux, whose pale nudes with their blond hair and grey eyes in night-time landscapes are quite captivating.

Hung up over being hung over - screamin' placemats

As the weekend draws to its close, we are both slowly edging out of the darkness known as a hangover of magnificent proportions. What have we learnt from this adventure? That La Grande Dame champagne, a good but killer Rueda and a bunch of Cosmopolitans will not mesh well together. On the upside, though, we had a great time on Friday evening... with some great friends, so I cannot complain too much. My mother kindly babysat our munchkin, plus smaller monster niece and when they started chortling the next morning and jumping up and down on our bed at 7.30 a.m. (ouch!) kindly stepped in and shooed them downstairs to the kitchen.

Saturday was a veggie day (with us two couch potatoes). Today we actually ventured outside and breathed in whole lungfuls of fresh air, even headed towards the playgarden. Two lattes, a brownie and a muffin later, we felt human again. We also found the kitschiest placemats ever for our kitchen table. Scream, if you will. We did, but with glee.

The moral of this story is: thou shalt not go out like Lindsey Lohan when thou aren't used to it because you will end up buying some pretty loud placemats as a result.

In other news, 35,000 Belgians actually thought it was worth coming out to march in favour of the nation that is known as Belgium. Well done, now can we have a government, pretty please?

In more other news, the first of the series of surgeries in my family (it's surgery season, watch out) took place last Wednesday. My sister will be released from the hospital as my mother enters it (the same hospital, but to treat her Dupuytren syndrome, which is a nasty disease of the hand).

And so another week awaits us. Blah.

Belgium on the brink of civil war!

And so we are at 156 days without a government, with the negotiating parties in gridlock. Is Belgium on the verge of a civil war? If so, this is surely what the battlefield would look like. In fact, I think this is what our pols look like at the moment. A bunch of silly potatoes...

150 days and counting - the end of Belgium as you know it?

OK, I'll level with you all. I've sort of been steering clear of the subject of Belgium and the current political crisis.

For those of you who are blissfully unaware of what is going on, let me start by saying that our elections were exactly 150 days ago. To this day, the pols are still in talks to put together a coalition that will work.

So quick recap while respecting the KISS principle: Belgium straddles the boundary between Germanic and Latin Europe. This is not an easy combo, with the Flemish (who speak Dutch) and the Walloons (who speak French) and some Germans (thrown in for good measure to spice up the cocktail) all attempting to co-habit peacefully. Since 1830 they have all managed to do so more or less successfully, with the odd tiff here and there (I won't go in to the fact that for the first 100 years of Belgium's existence the Flemish were treated as second-rate citizens and that many Flemish were in cahoots with the Germans during WWII).

Throughout the 1970s and 1980s the state was regionalized, which led to a federation with federal, regional and community governments. A perfect example of what Belgium is actually famous for: the compromise (and beer, and French fries, the saxophone, Magritte, etc. but that again is another matter).

Having read the above, you will undoubtedly have guessed the consequences of this interesting cocktail. Some five months ago we all did our duty and drifted off to the polling stations one Sunday morning to vote. The elections resulted in a victory for the Christian-Democrats and the Liberals, and a rather devastating defeat for the Socialist Party. (I'm leaving out the Nationalists, because they disgust me anyway). However, it being Belgium, we have Dutch-speaking CD's and Libs, and French-speaking CD's and Libs. And unfortunately they are not seeing eye to eye when it comes to the federation as it stands.

There are mainly two issues:
- the fate of Francophone voters, who live just outside of Brussels, in areas that are in Flemish territory but that have a significant French-speaking population, and who are allowed to vote for French-speaking politicians during their election. It would seem that this little set-up is illegal and thus the Flemish want to abolish it, which they did today (triggering a walk-out by the French MPs after the vote in the parliamentary committee)
- the Flemish want more powers for the regions, in part to do away with the flow of Flemish tax revenue to the poorer Walloon region.

So this whole charade drags on. Those living in Brussels-Halle-Vilvoorde and the Brussels-Capital region might disagree with me when I say, oh, for f***'s sake, just get over it? But in view of the rising petrol prices, the cost of living, and a cabinet that cannot take any major decisions, as well as a country that is basically teetering on the edge of a giant abyss, I can only shake my head in disbelief. Belgium, and in this I have to agree with Belgian blogger Gerrit Six, the man who tried to sell Belgium on e-Bay, has so much to offer. I love this country, I love its people (well, most of them), its customs, its food, its beers, its architecture, its art and its museums, its cathedrals, its polders, the Atomium (!), and so much more...

So what do you think, boys and girls (I'm talking to you, Joëlle), can we just get on with it now?

* a word of thanks goes out to Raf Casert of AP, who lives in the affected region, and who also managed to explain it in a KISS way.

Antwerp mayor says 'sorry' to Jewish community - has anything really changed?

Interesting news item:

Yesterday our mayor, socialist Patrick Janssens, apologized to the Jewish community for the municipal government's role during World War II in a video message to a congress on the Nazi extermination of Jews during WWII.
Recent research seems to indicate that Antwerp officials and police were actively collaborating with the German occupying forces at the time. With more than 1,200 Jews rounded up for subsequent deportation to various concentration camps in Europe, it would seem that the Antwerp police assisted the Germans during the summer of 1942 in tracking down Jewish people in Antwerp and later actively rounding them up.
The Brussels municipal council and police apparently refused any collaboration.
About 65 percent of Antwerp's Jewish community were deported during the Nazi occupation.

All this during the same weekend that thousands of members of the white supremacy organization Blood and Honour converged on Wolfsdonk in Aarschot for a concert featuring neo-nazi bands... There is currently no ban on such meetings and organizations in Belgium, which is why this meet could take place.

Sometimes I think this country just doesn't get it and is unable to looks its war past in the face.
I should probably say something here about communitaurian differences (Walloon vs. Flemish) and link it to the current problems that the various parties are having trying to form a coalition and subsequently a government, but frankly, I am so exasperated and ashamed about the lack of unity at political level that I don't want to talk about it.