The L Word, S5. Ep. 12: Loyal and True


Season 5 draws to a close, and once again continuity was not the forte of the writers of the L-Word. Not that it ever was.
The leaps and bounds, the strands of narrative left hanging, never cease to amaze me.

Off the top my head, I can think of Papi (who disappeared off the face of the earth and the chart without so much as a mention), Mark, Helena's children, the fact that Kit, Tina AND Bette can all be out and about, but where is little Angelica in all this (attachment parenting, hello?), Bette and Helena hugging like best friends, Marina (oh, remember Marina) auditioning for Les Girls with her troupe, Carmen, and so on.

Also, I don't know who directed this episode (couldn't be bothered to look it up), but the direction sucked: the sideways profile (Shane/Phyllis scene), the filming through fabric or blinds (Bette and Tina, Jenny and Tina) , the seguing of Bette and Tina in traffic and the chopper overhead with Mama P and the jellyfish venom inside, ack!

But on to more interesting things, the storylines:

- Alice/Tasha: I guess the poster on the bus means that Alice DID get the job. Hurray, and thanks for mentioning that. So being on 'The Look' now means that she has to go dress like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday, so she can take a ride on a Vespa.
And what's with the identical dressing this season? The Wardrobe people must be on drugs: Bette and Tina, Bette and Jodi, Alice and Clea... Need I go on?
Was the Cal-Mart badge a dead give-away that the Alice/Tasha relationship was going down the drain, or was it the police academy that cinched it? At any rate, I almost feel that season 6 will start sans Tasha, with once again no mention of what happened. I'll be very sad to see Rose Rollins go and I will definitely miss her belly laugh. Just seems amazing how Alice is capable of throwing her own principles (remember last week's eppy) out of the window when it suits her. But let's face it, if you're taking advice from Shane on your relationship, you might just as well call it quits.

- Shane/Molly: wow, how quick does Shane cave in to Phyllis on her future with Molly?! Coming from someone who just threw twenty years of marriage down the drain to rediscover her inner lesbian, that is a bit rich. (Also for some reason, Cybill Shepherd reminded me of Dawn French in that scene. All she needed was a giant baby strapped on). But I also think any best friend should know better than to hop on to the best friend's ex, especially when everything is so fresh and raw. That said, in the lesbian world of six degrees of separation, everything is possible, I guess.

- Jenny/Nikki/Adele: pff, I'm guessing that the balcony scene, as it will henceforth be known, (to replace that old favourite, which goes something along the lines of 'O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo) means the end of exciting purple strapon sex. Ah, had we had but more of that this season. I'm looking at you, Bette and Tina! It also gave a whole new meaning to the expression "safe sex", didn't it.
As for Adele and Begonia: it's almost as if she lives out Jenny's life as it should have been? Success, and the hot exotic girlfriend to boot.
And Jenny could have done MUCH more when she walked in and told Adele that she stole the movie from under her.
The end of this episode was slightly puzzling: was this a cliffhanger? Was Jenny referring to Nikki or Shane when she dropped the 'love' word ? Guess we'll have to wait another ten months to find out. Now if this was Dynasty or As The World Turns, someone would have walked up with a machine gun or someone would have fallen off a balcony... No such luck here.

- Jodi: I must have missed something because at what point did Jodi become BFF with everybody overnight? Since I never was on the Jodi bandwagon, let's just say that this episode did nothing to make me change my mind.
The 'Core' installation was downright spiteful and the smirk that served it too. Also, I must have been asleep during the past six episodes, because did ANYBODY ever see a videocam in the vicinity of Bette? We all did see the one in Nikki and Jenny's tent (how could we ever forget that memorable scene and the purple dildo) but at Bette's house? And why would someone who is deaf, make an AUDIOvisual installation?
And personally, I'd be dialling Joyce Wischnia's number ASAP for assault of character or whatever it is that they call it these days instead of doing a paltry imitation of Annie Leibovitz's photo of Lennon/Ono.

- Bette/Tina: it must have been a pretty bad week at casa Porter/Kennard. First Tina gets kicked off her own set by scheming Adele (if you want this movie on time and on budget) and then Bette gets some pretty strong medicine levelled at her by Jodi. No wonder their heads aren't thinking straight, as Bette mentions having a 'baby brother or sister' for Angelica during the poolside scene. Um, hello, you haven't even decided whether you want to live together yet, have been reunited for all of twelve seconds, and you're talking babies? This will never fly in Peoria, or with the lesbians for that matter. On a nicer note, the ladies took dancing to a whole new level ;-)... The word 'floorgasm' has already been coined.

- Helena: I'll admit to having fanned myself as a sun-kissed, tussled Helena tumbled from under that chopper to greet Peggy P. So Mama P got herself stung by a jellyfish? I was reminded of this story in last week's news. With her untimely demise near, Peggy giveth, taketh and giveth again... and after all that, recommends Helena to go buy Kit a night club, or two... I'm lost for words. And did we see the old Helena shine through there, as she admits to being bored with life on a remote paradise island in Tahiti with a hot criminal wanted for tax evasion? On to the next thrill, rich girl.

- Double D: my God, my lovah Cindy has a middle and last name. It's Cindy Annabel Tucker, if you please, and she manages to serve Denbot her just desserts. And then, for some reason, she's glued to Helena. 'Mmkay?

- Max, wherefore art thou?

Some good moments this season:

- Bette: was Mary fucking Poppins not available (on learning that Bev would be played by a white actress)
- Mama P: Were I receptive to such a proposition, it would first require a full booty check. Were you to pass muster baby, I'd give it to you family style. (hmmm, sigh, Holland Taylor, I love how you steal every scene you're in).
- Pam Grier for being able to turn two words into a whole line. Max for getting fewer lines every eppy (hi guys, in ep. 12)
- Fuck no, Denbo (Alice?)
- Nikki/Jenny: We’re going to fuck in a closet? The irony hasn’t escaped me.

On a last note: I can hear groans all around about the baby mention, but has anybody thought about the fact that either Holloman or Beals might be really pregnant and that this has to be worked into the storyline again? They both have three-year olds or thereabouts...

And WHY did someone have to blend the song "2Wicky" by Belgian band Hooverphonic with an Isaac Hayes song and turn it into an onslaught on our ears??? (I'm so vocal on this one, because it was the first song that SO and I shared as a couple, and part of the lyrics made up the title of my first ever post on this blog).

Here, as my parting shot for this season, is the song with the splendid vocals by Liesje Sadonius...

Now if someone would take the memorable Bette and Tina floorgasm and put this to this music, I certainly wouldn't object.

3 messages:

Anonymous said...

This was a good ending in all for season 5. The show got done. Shane I think did the right thing with Molly also did Shane become the psychiatrist for all. How I am lost with Jenny. She was looking for Nikki but did I get the wrong sign when she told Shane that she broke her heart at the last? Is she in love with Shane? I'll miss not only the shows but also your blog here about the show, have enjoyed your writing very much.

Lula de Montes said...

Thank you for your compliment, dear mystery reader. As far as the L-Word is concerned, only 10 more months separate us from the final farewell. Any suggestions on what we shall do after that?

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure at this moment what we could replace " The L Word " with. Just eight final episodes in 2009 and it is over. I can't think of one showing that I didn't get teared eye in. Then turn right around and laugh or shout way to go girl. Now that is something. I know just a show but the dialog and the great acting of the actress just would hit you hard. Going to be a hard time finding a show that will replace this one. I think it will be years down the road. Thank you for letting me comment in you blog.

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